Some Basic Facts for Service Providers
about
Domestic Violence/Intimate Partner Violence
in the
LGBTQ Communities
By Amy Caffrey, LMFT
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Santa Clara County Domestic Violence Council Member
(chair of LGBTQ Domestic Violence Subcommittee)
SJSU Professor (Psychology Dept)
We know that there are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer victims and perpetrators of domestic violence and children in those families who have witnessed the violence
There have been several LGBTQ DV needs assessments done in Santa Clara County (2001; 2003; 2006) and several LGBTQ DV needs assessments done in in the whole of California and they all show that there is a problem
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We need to stop asking if there is a problem and start working toward improving services for LGBTQ DV victims/survivors, perpetrators and their families
Approximately, 10% - 12% of women have had an intimate relationship with another woman.
Approximately, 10% - 14% of men have had an intimate relationship with another man.
Studies show that at any given time as many as 30% of college students are exploring a same-sex orientation
LGBT Community is a minority group that has few Federal protections from discrimination.
There are different dynamic in a female – female relationship
There are different dynamic in a male – male relationship
Being “lesbian”, being “gay” being “bisexual” effects the whole person, not just who they have a sexual relationship with.
Consider This:
Homosexuality was considered a diagnosable mental disorder until 1973.
Therapies and treatments still are in practice with the sole purpose to change the sexual orientation
Lesbian and gays are not born into families that teach them how to live as a minority person
Other minority individuals (ie. Latino/African-American/Asian, etc) for the most part, have had a family who is also of that minority and can help to teach her/him how to deal with their minority status and the societal oppression. The LGBT individual may not have that support.
LGB individuals are often invisible. This makes it more difficult to let others know about their relationship.
Because of the invisibility LGBTQ people may find themselves in culturally insensitive groups
LGBTQ Community includes members of every other minority group (racial, ethnic, religious, cultural)
The LGBTQ community consists of a very high number of bi-cultural/bi-racial relationships. It is important to be aware of whether the racial/ethnic identity or the LGBTQ identity plays an equal or larger role in the social identity of the individual.
No matter how “out” she or he is, or how comfortable she or he is with her lesbian or gay identity, LGB individuals are still marginalized and discriminated against.
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LGB Batterers will use all of the weapons a heterosexual batterer uses and more
Statistics
Over 1 and ½ Million people living in Santa Clara County
Up to 10% of those people are gay or lesbian. So there are about 150,000 lesbian & gay people in the County
1 in 4 lesbians & 1 in 4 gay men are dealing with intimate violence issues
Domestic Violence Services are needed for up to 37,500 lesbians and gay men in Santa Clara County
Restraining Orders
In 1994 or 1995 California revised the state domestic violence law by removing opposite-sex language and expanding the definition of “cohabitants” to include “unrelated adult persons”.
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Police, Therapists, Court System and Advocates often react to LGBTQ domestic violence in inappropriate and heterosexist ways due to their belief in the myths about LGBTQ people.
Myths
The Lesbian/Gay Marriage Issue
While empowering and strengthening to healthy relationships, the on-going media coverage and discourse regarding the “marriage issue” (both positive & negative) and has caused additional stress on lgb individuals and couples
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More Facts About LGB Domestic Violence …..Why Don’t They Seek Help?
For the LGBTQ survivor of domestic violence to get help means having to “come out” to total strangers (a major life decision)
Police often arrest the wrong person or arrest both.
(There is much distrust of police in the LGBTQ Community)
Courts often do not mandate LGBT perpetrators to 52 week batterer’s programs
Because restraining order information is “public information” there is a fear that family, friends, co-workers and ex-spouses made find out he or she is “gay” which could affect work, relationships and child custody.
LGB individuals who have been abused have much more difficulty finding appropriate support and service providers who have knowledge of the specific needs of lesbians, gay men or bisexuals
Belief within the LGBTQ Community is that there is no real help out there, no safe place & talking to the police may make it worse.
There are NO domestic violence shelters for lesbians, gay men or trans individuals.
Lesbians and trans women are sometimes welcome in shelters for heterosexual women, however it is important that staff in those shelters obtain training to help meet the specific needs of lesbians who have been abused.
All too often lesbians and trans women are re-traumatized in the shelter by discrimination and oppression by other residents. There are no shelters for gay men. Hotel vouchers are often provided but this is not always a safe place.
LGB victims may know few or no other LGBTQ individuals....leaving their abuser could mean total isolation. There is more isolation in a gay & lesbian abusive relationships and therefore often less motivation to seek help
The support system for the abuser is most likely also the same support system of the abused individual.
Financial dependence may be a significant factor.
Children may be a significant factor to consider.
Santa Clara County Assistant District Attorney Rolanda Pierre Dixon reported
A very low number of confirmed same-sex cases that come through the D.A.’s office.
From 1996 to 2006, there were only an average of 24 - 30 confirmed same-sex cases per year. (out of over 3000 cases) .
Some LGBTQ victims of DV may be more reluctant (than a heterosexual victim) to discuss the abuse until trust is built by the service provider
Be aware that the “supportive friend” who is in the waiting room may really be the batterer
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Support service providers and friends often minimize same-sex abuse for several reasons
Many service providers do not believe that gays and lesbians need any specific services different
from their straight clients and therefore do not do any outreach or education in the gay/lesbian community or the therapeutic community. This in turn can cause distrust by gays and lesbians and to question whether the service provider really understands the gay/lesbian issues
Working with a victim/survivor of LGBTQ domestic violence is very similar to working with a victim/survivor of man to woman domestic violence.
However, there are some important differences.
Many of the same barriers confronting survivors of heterosexual relationship violence also make it difficult for LGBTQ survivors to access help and safety.
These include:
• fear of retribution by the abusive partner
• feelings of guilt and shame about the violence
• lack of familiarity with available resources and legal avenues for protection.
In addition to these barriers, LGBTQ survivors must also overcome obstacles created by homophobia and heterosexism.
LGBTQ victims/Survivors, perpetrators and their families
need service providers who are sensitive and trained
to work with the specific unique issues that LGBTQ people face.
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Amy Caffrey, LMFT. Training Materials, ”LGBTQ DV”